You’re the only one you’re sure of

You’re the only one you’re sure of

… and even that isn’t guaranteed

Think about 2 people in a relationship

Any relationship at all

Imagine you are one of those two people

Imagine it’s a friendship

For someone to be your friend, it is assumed that both of you like something about each other.

Now think about this:

You know what you like about the other person

Do you know what they like about you?

You know why you’re friends with that person

Do you know why they are friends with you?

I mean, they may tell you these things.

But do you know for sure ?

Do you know if it’s the truth ?

Now let’s imagine it’s a romantic relationship

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I need a break…

I need a break…

…sound familiar?

How often do we hear those 4 simple words?

It’s as simple as that “I.Need.A.Break”

Sooo many times right?

I cannot even begin to count how many times I have said it myself.

A break. “Always a good idea”, I say.

But why do we need these breaks?

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Worry

Worry

Worry! Gosh! Anyone who knows me knows that I worry too damn much. Its ridiculous. Even more so that I know its a bad thing but I keep doing it anyway.

“Worry is a prayer for something you don’t want”. I heard this from TV Series – Mistresses. It’s probably old but I heard it recently and thought “wow, so spot on”.

I always worry but then I end up doing what I would have done in the first place anyway.

Overthinkers Anonymous, I should find this club and join or better yet create one to help others – maybe we can solve our problems together (two heads are better than one right?).

ME: “Hi my name is Happiness and I’m an Overthinker.”

GROUP: “Hi Happiness!”

Sounds good already! 😀

Okay, I was writing this  and I stepped away from my laptop for a couple of hours, lost my train of thought now, I’ll try to get it back *fingers crossed*

Hold on, Is worry different from overthinking? coz they sort of operate at the same level for me. *shrugs*

Why do we worry so much though? – I guess sometimes we can’t really help it.

Let me use myself as an example. Hmmn, I worry a lot! I said this already – lol. But in fact, 92% of the time my worries end up being completely and utterly baseless. Okay, maybe not baseless but unnecessary.

Everyone (well most people – give me a break, I generalize a lot!) know(s) that I am quite a logical person. I rarely ever make a decision without thinking through it thoroughly. And I mean thoroughly (except when I’m just convicted – like when I was selecting a university). Anyway, so, at the end of the day I hardly ever make the wrong decision. I’m not saying I always make the right decision but most times when I say “A” and someone else *cough* my brother *cough* says “B”, “A” is almost always the better decision. Yeah, so you catch my drift.

But as much as I know this I still overthink everything before and worry about everything after. Why? I don’t know. I was hoping you lot could help me.

Okay, Okay I need to start making sense soon.

Errrrmm. Yeah. Worry. Worry is bad – very bad.

Even the Bible condemns it; “Therefore I tell you do not worry about your life … Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?” – Matt 6:25 -27

Worry does absolutely nothing for us. I mean as much as we worry over something, a person, a decision we’ve made, or whatever, it does not change the situation. It doesn’t. So what is the point?

Another Quote – “worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength”

So my dear friends rather than worry so much about things we can’t change why don’t we channel that energy towards making things better moving forward or even managing an already dented situation. I hope this makes sense.

If we notice most of the time we spend worrying we are actually not trying to find a solution to the apparent problem rather, what we do is we try to gauge how bad it is – Oh it’s bad, Oh no it’s so bad, On a scale of 1-10 how bad is this? Waste of time!

“When life gives you lemons make lemonade” Does this quote apply? I don’t know.

I mean, think about it, all that time we spend worrying about something that has already happened a nude we already sent out, hehe. Why not just channel that time towards doing something better.

I know we hear this a lot. I am also a work in progress so I’m basically giving myself a pep talk here 🙂 I hope it helps you too!

Worry less, it’s really not worth it.

Write soon! xx

What if it was you?

What if it was you?

“Ha!! I can never allow that happen to me oh. Never!!” – Typical words you hear from an individual who has just been told of something annoying/disturbing/stupid/’avoidable’ that has happened to someone else.

We think we have the ability to avoid things based on certain steps we take everyday – well I guess to some extent we do. But sometimes we are just saved by grace.

I remember sitting with a group of friends sometime back and someone telling us a story of a girl who was constantly being beaten by her boyfriend. Heyy! see anger! Everyone was angry (bear in mind that none of us knew this girl – we were just hearing ‘gist’).

  • “What nonsense?!!! How can a guy beat me?”
  • “He’s not even my husband oh, just boyfriend. God forbid!”
  • “The girl is a big fool, how can she allow her boyfriend beat her? Why hasn’t she left the relationship?”
  • Please spare me that nonsense, if the girl was my sister, I will beat her too.”

Those were some of the numerous negative and slanderous responses that were given that day. Yes, I was part of them.

But when I look back now, I’m thinking, we didn’t have the right to say any of those things. I mean, what if it was us? Did we think that the girl wanted to be beaten?

It’s all so interesting how we humans speak. We have so many opinions about other people’s lives and we fail to consider the big question – ‘What if it was me?’

I know some of you will say you’ve considered it and that you would never allow that to happen to you but still, what if?

When I was younger I would look at people who had lost a parent and say ‘how can this person even smile knowing that a member of their family is gone forever?’ Few years down the line, I lost a parent and oh, trust me there  is no template on how to handle such a situation.

Anyway I think I’m rambling because recently I found that I have to deal with some things I thought would never happen to me and all I can think of is, could I have avoided this? Did I bring this upon myself ? And my sincere answer is no. Maybe I could have avoided it but I didn’t know how. The bottom line is Im here now and I just have to deal with it. Now that I know what it feels like to handle such, I realize that I am in no place to judge others. 

Before we make that ever so quick and easy decision to judge, let’s think: what if it was me?

It’s a whole lot different when it hits close to home.

Write soon! xx