Pick a Date.

Pick a Date.

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“Pick a date then work backwards”.

My Boss says this all the time.

I work in a Unit in HR where we plan and deliver trainings. I never thought it would be hard. But as it is with everything involving logistics and many other people besides yourself, planning and delivering trainings is hard and annoying.

I digress.

Do you know why he always said to pick a date? It’s because psychologically if you set a date for something, you sort of do everything within your power to make sure you are ready for that date. Especially when it involves stakeholders other than yourself.

Why am I talking about this?

My Boss’ advice as annoying as it always is, is always super helpful.

It makes things happen.

Personally, I feel that without this advice, I would never have accomplished half the things I have accomplished while working with him.

Anyway this is not a write up about my Boss.

It’s about you and me. It’s about us and why we never get around to doing the things we really want to do.

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This “Love” Thing

This “Love” Thing

I have been having this back and forth argument with my friend about love.

And I thought I’d write about it.

I think Love is a Decision. He doesn’t.

What do you think?

Here’s how I see it:

I believe you decide to give a person your love.

There’s your family who I believe you are “forced” designed to love.

Yes, because I mean, they are family.

But then there’s a special guy or girl.

The one you love in a special kind of way.

The one you have the gooey feelings for.

The one that makes you smile with your heart.

I think you decide to love this person.

The way I see it, we meet several people through the course of lives

We get crushes, we have flings, we think he’s cute, we think she’s cute.

But then there’s the one (or ones) we decide to say the 3 powerful words to – ‘I love you’.

Why do we decide?

My friend says love comes and kicks you in the bottom and you cannot help but love  when that person comes along

I get that.

But I still think love is a decision.

You know how you are asked why you love a person?

Some people have answers.

They say it’s because he’s kind, she’s generous, he makes them feel like a queen, she’s the best friend I never had, bla bla..

See what I think:

I am sure he is not the only kind person you’ve met, and she’s not the only generous person you know.

So why don’t you just love all those other kind and generous people?

Why this one?

That’s where my ‘decision’ argument comes in.

Yup. I think we make that choice. The choice to love them.

Some others don’t have answers.

They are like “You know what? I don’t know why I love them, I just do.”

Some even start to doubt their love when they realize they do not have an answer to this question.

Some think it means the love is deeper, more special when there’s no reason.

I think that’s a bit off point.

But that was relatable so pfff.

My friend says if we choose to love a person then why do we get hurt?

Excuse me, but I think this is even a dumb argument.

  1. Choosing to give your love to someone does not mean that they will choose to give you theirs.
  2. Choosing to give your love to someone does not mean you cannot go back on it.
  3. Choosing to give your love to a person and having them give theirs back to you does not give you immunity against hurt.

We are still human.

We change our minds.

We hurt people without thinking and sometimes with thinking.

We are human.

Things happen.

My closing argument:

There are so many good looking, kind, loving, generous, amazing people we meet through the course of our lives.

But this one comes along and we CHOOSE to love them.

We make that decision.

Write soon xx

 

Wanting More…

Wanting More…

I want more!

Oh! Lord knows I want more!

But I often ask myself: “Do I do enough to get the things I want?”

What do I mean?

I mean its great to desire more, have expectations and just yearn for greater but is that where it stops? Desire?

I think there’s a certain level of hard work that needs to go into wanting and getting more.

See, I don’t have the answers.

I don’t think any of my posts have the answers to anything I ask to be honest. LoL

I digress,

So you are wanting more?

What do you want?

What needs to be done to get what you want?

What are you willing to do to get it?

What have you already done to get it?

What are you going to do to get it?

I don’t think any great person ever got great by mere desire.

Okay, maybe some. I don’t know them – You might. *shrugs*

But you know all those “Great People” we read about?

Notice how they all have this back story of how they went through this and went through that?

How they were rejected 99 times, how they were thought useless at school, how their inventions kept crashing before they could get the final one to work?

Notice?

Yeah.

That’s what they did to get the “more” they wanted.

What are you going to do differently today to get your “more”?

I’m asking myself the same question.

Write soon xx

 

Psst! Wanna Know a Secret?

Psst! Wanna Know a Secret?

“We all have secrets”. We’ve heard this a million and one times!

I’ve always felt like I wanted to know things…

You know those “What if” questions that come up every now and then and end with “Would you want to know?” or “would you want to be told?”

I guess I had a few “No’s” to these sort of questions but deep down I always wanted to know things.

I felt like it was better if things were just out in the open rather than having to wonder; Is this happening or is this not happening.

“It’s better to just know” I always said.

I’m getting to my point 🙂

Anyway, we would agree that 9 out of 10 times if someone whispered in our ears; “Wanna know a secret?” our answer would be “Yes!”

That 1 time we say no is usually when we have an idea of what the secret might be and are scared to know the truth.

The question that leads to the 1 time we say no is hardly ever phrased as “Wanna know a secret?”

It’s usually more like “I have something to tell you.” DA DA DA DOOM *Insert other tense music here*

I’m still getting to my point, be patient.

There are these other times when we’re not even searching for anything and a secret falls right on your laps.

You either respond as the person who wants to know things or you walk away.

“Walk away????” Who are we kidding? We would dig right in.

Oh? We don’t? Alright then? Lets stick to that story.

But when we do dig, for those of us who will, what do we do when we find what we find?

What do we do with the realization of this secret?

What do you do when a realization shatters the essence someone has built with you?

What do we do then?

Secrets.. better left unsaid or not?

Do secrets do more harm when they are out in the open or when they are kept hidden?

How was the term secret even coined?

Who said things had to be hidden?

Write soon xx

Pain

Pain

“That’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt” – stolen from The Fault in our Stars.

I wasn’t even thinking about the movie when this phrase popped in my mind a few hours ago.
But what is realer than this phrase?
We can hide our pain from others, pretend it’s not there just so people leave us alone
But we feel it.
It’s there.
We know it is.
Pain is real and it’s not just the kind gotten from a bite , or a bruise , or a beating , or an accident.
Pain comes in all sorts of forms.
I’m thinking…

I’m thinking…

I’m thinking I should know by now

I’m thinking this shouldn’t be by now

I’m wondering why

I’m wondering when

I’m wondering how

I’m wondering who

I’m wondering what

I’m wondering

My mind is on a constant roller coaster

I’m in a constant state of confusion

I’m overwhelmed

I’m underwhelmed

I’m tired – I shouldn’t be

I’m energetic – I don’t know what to do with it

I’m stressed – I haven’t been doing anything

I’m scared – not sure why

I’m angry – mostly at myself

I’m cranky – probably be

I’m hungry – I just ate

I’m drowning – I can swim

I’m cold – I have a jacket on

I’m hot – Its freezing here

I’m tired – I don’t want to be

I’m tired – It’s hard not to be.

Write soon xx