I write about feelings a lot
It’s because they are so complex
Feelings are fleeting
They are like little kids – today they are super interested / invested in something and the next day, they can’t be bothered about it. Or in extreme cases, they hate that same thing.
Feelings are weird
You can’t depend on them
But yet you always want them around
In fact you need them to play fairly on this side of life
I always want to feel, and whenever I feel something I want to analyse it to death
I guess that pisses my feelings off
Sometimes I swear I can hear them say “Just feel what you are feeling and move on; you don’t always have to make sense out of it”
I am intrigued about them
There are the ones where you know exactly what you are feeling and you can spell it out
Then there are the ones where you know what you are feeling but you can’t quite explain it
And then there are the other ones that just sit there and confuse you to bits
Anytime I think about feelings a memory from 11 years ago when a friend was describing how he felt after a heart break always comes to my mind
Here’s what he said –
“It feels like the air is made of amala and you are trying to breath through it”
Sounds super uncomfortable
But think about that description, is it just me or is it relatable and not just for heartbreaks?
It’s basically one of those feelings that you can’t quite explain and so you just describe it the best way you can
Feelings have a great impact on us
They impose themselves on us and then force us to acknowledge them
They are rude actually
An untold feeling can leave us lonely
A misunderstood feeling can leave us hurt
An ill-explained feeling can leave us drained
And it goes on
Isn’t it funny how the poor expression of one feeling can lead to the forced bearing of another?
I find that attempting to describe my feelings helps me get through them
‘Get through’ does not necessarily mean ‘make sense of’
So here’s how I am feeling right now:
I feel like I am sitting in a multi-colored box and I am desperately trying to focus on just one color but I can’t seem to get my focus right. Also, I know it’s a multi-colored box but I can’t make out any of the colors.
How are you feeling?