How are you feeling?

How are you feeling?

I write about feelings a lot

It’s because they are so complex

Feelings are fleeting

They are like little kids – today they are super interested / invested in something and the next day, they can’t be bothered about it. Or in extreme cases, they hate that same thing.

Feelings are weird

You can’t depend on them

But yet you always want them around

In fact you need them to play fairly on this side of life

I always want to feel, and whenever I feel something I want to analyse it to death

I guess that pisses my feelings off

Sometimes I swear I can hear them say “Just feel what you are feeling and move on; you don’t always have to make sense out of it”

*Sigh*

Feelings

I am intrigued about them

There are the ones where you know exactly what you are feeling and you can spell it out

Then there are the ones where you know what you are feeling but you can’t quite explain it

And then there are the other ones that just sit there and confuse you to bits

Anytime I think about feelings a memory from 11 years ago when a friend was describing how he felt after a heart break always comes to my mind

Here’s what he said –

“It feels like the air is made of amala and you are trying to breath through it”

Lol!

Sounds super uncomfortable

(for people who don’t know – amala is a Nigerian (Yoruba) meal made by mixing powdered yam with hot water; poor description but yeah it forms into a mold kind of like play-doh but softer)

But think about that description, is it just me or is it relatable and not just for heartbreaks?

It’s basically one of those feelings that you can’t quite explain and so you just describe it the best way you can

Feelings have a great impact on us

They  impose themselves on us and then force us to acknowledge them

They are rude actually

An untold feeling can leave us lonely

A misunderstood feeling can leave us hurt

An ill-explained feeling can leave us drained

And it goes on

Isn’t it funny how the poor expression of one feeling can lead to the forced bearing of another?

Feelings

*Sigh*

I find that attempting to describe my feelings helps me get through them

‘Get through’ does not necessarily mean ‘make sense of’

So here’s how I am feeling right now:

I feel like I am sitting in a multi-colored box and I am desperately trying to focus on just one color but I can’t seem to get my focus right. Also, I know it’s a multi-colored box but I can’t make out any of the colors.  

How are you feeling?

xx

 

4 thoughts on “How are you feeling?

  1. I feel tired. Mentally. Spiritually. Physically. But that’s just today. Other days the feelings are different- mixed. I get tired of feeling these feelings, but without them I wouldn’t know the state of my being, somewhat. Sigh! Feelings are weird.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They are weird indeed. It’s good we acknowledge them though. They don’t do well with being ignored.
      I wish you a better set of feelings tomorrow – some strength maybe and a smile.

      Like

    2. I feel like Super, literally. Weird considering the world right now but I’ve never been happier, healthier, stronger and more focused. It’s refreshing. This situation has created the perfect environment for me to rediscover and understand myself without distractions.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s awesome!! I was actually pleasantly surprised to see a positive feeling. This reminds of a post I saw yesterday – a mother said she got her joy from seeing how happy her baby was during this period. The baby is just starting out life and does not know what’s going on. Your story is like a new born discovering themselves and setting out to conquer. While some are surviving, others are thriving and that’s all ok! I wish these great feelings and more 😊

        Like

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