It’s been a minute.
I have missed this page.
I have missed my keyboard.
I have not been here physically but I have thought about being here fondly everyday.
But I had nothing to give.
But it was not like before.
It was not like the days where there was an emptiness.
There was something, I wanted to write, but the words were not ready.
They were cooking.
Now they’re here.
It is not elaborate or grande
But it is here.
Here it is:
I am this and I am that
A very good this and a very good that
But each day I focus on what I am not
A poor this and a shitty that
and these thoughts cause my heart to bleed
“Why am I not this and why am I not that?”, I ask
But the world responds: “But you are such a good this, can’t you see it?”
I respond: “Oh please, this can be more this and that can be more that, so why isn’t it so?”
I had a thought;
What if I shift my gaze?
What if I focus on the ‘this’ and the ‘that’ that I am?
What if I start to see the good this and the good that?
Today, I searched within
And I saw for myself that indeed, I am this, and indeed, I am that
I am coming to an understanding of the me that I am
and not who I think I am meant to be.
I hope you find your way here too.
Write soon xx