End of another year…

End of another year…

God has been good. So good. I am extremely grateful. 

It’s sad that somehow through the course of a year we tend to focus on all the things that have gone wrong and forget about the many blessings we have acquired.

I’ll admit, when I picked up my phone to write this post, it wasn’t actually to give thanks. I actually picked it up with the aim of whining about something that had gone wrong. But then plans changed I guess, thank God for that.

This year I’ve had two sad endings but I’ve also had two very happy endings.  

I remember when I had the first sad ending – I thought I would never get over how burnt I was. But I did. And today I am so grateful for that ending. 

A few weeks ago I had another sad ending and eventhough it still feels like one of those ones – the ones you think you’ll always be sad about, I know the time is coming when I would be grateful for that ending too. 

So this is what I’m gonna do now, think about the time when this situation that seems so pathetic and so important, would mean very little compared to the blessings that came after it. I know it’s easier said than done. But think about it. Think about that annoying/frustrating thing that happened earlier this year that you thought you would never get over, how much does it matter now? Probably not that much. I know in some cases it still matters quite a bit. But you know mostly, it fades away and it’s usually overshadowed by something better.

I’m rambling. I guess it’s coz honestly I’m still at that point where “it” still matters quite a bit lol . But as it’s said – “This too shall pass.”

So yeah, back to thanks giving .  

There’s so much to be grateful for. One of the things I’m thankful for is being able to start this space and being able to write stuff as often as I do. No matter how long I do this for, I’ll forever be grateful for the grace to take that first step.

I’m grateful for life and love. This year has taught me so much about love. I didn’t realise it until now. 

All in all. It has been a very full year.  And I’m grateful to God for everything that went into it.

I guess I just really wanted to write something today. Doesn’t make too much sense now. •+• but yeah… 

Grateful for 2015 looking forward to starting 2016 on a squeaky clean slate.

I’ll probably write a more coherent post about the year before the 1st.

Write soon! xx

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Remembering a Legend

Remembering a Legend

“I love you.” My legend never failed to let me know.

“I love you” – my legend said to me when I had been good.

“I love you” – my legend said to me when I had been bad.

“I love you” – the last words my legend said to me.

When I think about this Legend I am stunned at how amazing one person could be.

How one person could be so tough yet so loving.

I remember your discipline. How there were certain things we couldn’t dare to try (and still can’t tbh) because we knew the consequences. How you made us tough. How you embarked one of life’s toughest journeys without ever complaining. How you  fought through the pain, how you smiled through the pain. My legend was a fighter.

I remember your love. How you always put us before yourself. How you took all of our burdens and made it your own. How you made us feel safe. How you had an answer to everything. How you were still thinking of us even through the pain.

I didn’t understand what it meant to love a person but my legend taught me.

My legend made me who I am today. I remember the days of uncertainties my legend gave me something to believe in.

My legend was the definition of the ‘The love of a father’.

It is not how long you lived but how well you lived – I say my legend lived well. And not just for himself but for so many around him.

They call it “The Remembrance Day” but I don’t need a special day to remember you. Not  a single day has gone by in the past 1825 days that I don’t think about you. You are a star in my heart that has never deemed. Even when our human senses told us you had been blacked out – you didn’t flicker. In my heart you continue to shine bright.

I have never really put “it” out there but today I thought I’d tell the world a little bit about my Legend.

Words cannot express how much I miss you.

Even after so long, whenever something great happens to me I want to pick up the phone and call you. Just to get that very special reaction you give that no one else can replicate. You are a star.

I miss you.

When I’m lost I wish you were there to tell me where to go. Sometimes I pray to dream about you just so I can have a conversation with you.

I miss you.

Somehow I’m not angry that you went away because I actually believe and I’m not just saying it, that you are in a far better place. I just miss you, that’s all.

When I think about you these days I envision you in a beautiful world with your only worry being that you miss us. But that’s okay we miss you too. And eventually we will have what we once had when the Lord permits.

The words above do not represent even a spec of the beauty that was and is my legend. But you know what they say – words are never enough.

So this is just a little something about my legend. A little something to say how much I miss my legend. A little something to say, quite frankly that the world deserves to know a bit about my legend.

Write soon! xx

 

The other side…

The other side…

No, this isn’t about Adele’s song.

It’s more As told by Ginger theme song – “someone once told me the grass was much greener on the other side…”

as told by ginger

In life we are always looking to get better.

Somewhere better, something better, someone better.

But how do we know it’s better on the other side? I mean we haven’t been there.

Someone would say this is where faith plays in. Good. But why don’t we have faith that better will meet us where we are now? Why are we always looking to move? Why do we have to go searching for better? Why can’t better come find us?

Not a very valid argument is it?

Okay, let me retract my thoughts.

But this is it to be honest. I always wonder… How do we know that where we are headed is better than where we are now ? Or in the reverse case how do we know that where we are dreading to go isn’t better than where we are now?

For instance someone tells a London based person to move to Lagos and their reaction is like what? Lagos? No way in hell? Lagos is too stressful, it’s too this it’s too that? How do you know that your life in Lagos isn’t going to be better than your life in London?

Is that faith too?

Or someone says “Ahh! I have to move to America oh! whether by hook or by crook. Better life awaits me there.” How do you know?

Or when you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t necessarily a bad person but you just have the feeling he/she isn’t right for you. How do you know the next person or the next after the next will be right?How do you know there is someone “righter” for you than the one you are with now? Do you “just know” these things?

I guess we never know. We just hope for the best.

Okay I figured it out.

We can’t  wait for better to come to us.

We have to strive for better. That is just how it works. Hard work is the key to success. If we don’t try we cannot know.

We can’t just sit back and hope or have faith that better will come to us without trying.

The people who do that are called ‘Lazy’.

We have to keep moving. If we get to the place we thought would be better and it isn’t, we move again, until we get to where we want to be.

Like I said in ‘Stuck‘ – we have to keep trying, fight till we aren’t stuck anymore. In this case, we fight till we find ‘better’.

Write soon! xx

 

Mentally Exhausted!

Mentally Exhausted!

These days I actually feel like I want to take my brain out of my skull and put it in a chest for a few months so that it can just chill.

I feel sorry for my brain – I’m serious.

Like if it’s having to deal with all the stress I put it through, it needs a damn long holiday.

I’m sorry brain, I really am.

I actually have back and forth conversations with myself. Maybe this is bad, maybe this is good, if it is good why is it stressing me?

I’ve been stressed. That’s why I haven’t written in a while.

But I’m back now. By God’s grace.

Write soon! xx