I had a conversation with a friend a few months ago and I can never seem to get this analogy he used in describing the dating cycle out of my head. We were speaking about how most of the time we (I’m going to be saying this from a girl’s perspective but it may well apply to guys – it’s just easier for me really 🙂 ) tend to fall in, fall out and fall back into relationships without ever really taking time out to examine the process.
Here’s what he said and I paraphrase – It’s like being in an ocean and riding every wave that comes on without ever examining what made us fall off the previous one.
Okay maybe I didn’t say it as clearly as it is in my head but you sort of get the general idea.
So we get out of a relationship and this cute nice guy shows up a few weeks/months down the line and professes his Love(like) for us and we’re like “Oh yay! New guy, let’s do this!”
He went on to say that he recommends that when we fall off that one wave we should step back on the beach, observe the waters for a bit and ONLY go back in when we see a wave that we reallyyy want to ride i.e. not just riding one because you were in the water anyway. This doesn’t necessarily have to do with time but just watching, evaluating your experience with the last wave, spotting a new one, and making an informed decision to ride a particular wave because you believe it will be worth the ride.
It’s funny because most times when we are going through a break up, we say stuff like “I’m done with guys” or “I’m taking a break from guys for a bit”. But we hardly ever go through with it. When the next “hunk” or “sweet guy” wave pops up, we give ourselves a good reason to ride.
My advice is step out on dry land for a bit and you will realize how many waves you would have ridden that were actually never really worth it.
I hope it made a bit of sense 🙂
Write soon! xx