I had to make a choice that had the power to change my life for the better (nothing revolutionary, just an opportunity) a few days ago and it took almost every fiber in my body to stop from not making that choice. So yes, I was actually leaning towards making the wrong choice and blowing away a chance at something better. ‘Why?’ You might ask. Basically I was going to make an informed WRONG choice just because the better choice had the possibility of making another person feel bad.
Yup, that was it…no other reason.
I just thought the decision which was a great decision for me, would probably make someone else feel bad (not ruin their lives or hurt them, just make them feel bad) and so I was prepared to make the wrong choice just so I could avoid that ‘possibility’ of making someone feel bad.
That’s typical me. That is so something I would do – and NO I’m in no way the nicest person in the world (figure of speech).
The sad thing is that I actually started making up reasons why my ‘great choice’ was a bad idea. And none of the reasons had to do with making the other person feel bad. I didn’t want to admit it because deep down I knew it was a dumb reason. So I started to come up with other reasons as to why my great choice could potentially be a bad idea or just a waste of time.
What am I trying to say?
Most times we let other people’s opinions influence our decisions instead of focusing on what that decision really means to us.
I am not saying we should go about making decisions that would hurt other people. But I am sure we all know there are choices we make that we ordinarily wouldn’t make, but we do so anyway just so we can keep another person pleased (How do we even know we are keeping them pleased?), knowing fully well that they probably would not do the same for us.
You have one life to live – think about it, do you really want to live it for someone else? I mean, would they give you their’s?
Sometimes it’s okay to be selfish. Quite frankly
Life is a jungle and everyone is hustling to survive. It’s like a game show – you go in for a game show and you start to make friends with your competitors, all well and good but when it comes right down to it, you’re all fighting to win. If you had something that gave you an edge over another competitor, would you hide it just so you wouldn’t make them feel bad? Probably not. You would use it to your advantage so that you can win.
I know it sound like I’m advising people to be selfish.That’s not what this is.
Maybe I sound slightly pained because I know how many decisions I have made at my own detriment just so I wouldn’t make someone else feel bad.
But the truth is that most people are selfish and if they had an opportunity you didn’t have they’d take it in a ‘New York Minute’ and get on with it.
I guess what am saying here is LIVE FOR YOURSELF. Don’t allow yourself to be dragged down just for the fear of what another person might think – because if you do get dragged down just to please someone else, you end up resenting that person and no one wins.
As long as you know a choice is the right choice, make that choice, you’re better of that way than thinking ‘what if?’ all because you didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.
Write soon! xx