Suffering in Silence – Choosing an ‘S’ Tool

Suffering in Silence – Choosing an ‘S’ Tool

I was speaking to my friend the other day.

One of the strongest people I know, in my opinion… and he was broken. I couldn’t  believe it. How could someone so strong be broken, isn’t that meant for weaklings like me us?

Fast forward to why he was broken.

He was having issues at work. He wasn’t getting the satisfaction he had hoped for at his job and it was dampening his spirit, decreasing his productivity, and ultimately the whole situation had broken him.

He narrated the whole story to me and I figured that it was not his work that had broken him, but that he had actually taken the hammer and cracked himself. He had done this by silence. Don’t get me wrong, silence has its positives. There are even times when it is “the best answer”. But sometimes, some critical times, silence kills – it breaks you. Some people describe the ills of silence with the phrase – “suffering in silence”.

My friend was confused at work and he felt that no one understood why. Even while he was narrating his story he kept pausing and saying ugh “you won’t  understand”. Rather than accept that response, I probed. I told him to tell it to me so that I understood . Then he started to use examples and guess what? I understood. And I advised him in the best ways I could. When I was done talking, he said “Thank you so much, I feel so much better just knowing I have said it out, it had been so hard dealing with this on my own- I think I was suffering in silence”. And that was when it hit me; sometimes Just saying it solves it. I hadn’t gone to his office to make things easier for him nor had I built a career progression chart for him to make him feel better. All I had done was listen. And all he had done was speak and that was what gave him the relief he so desired.

I have always had this notion – sometimes people don’t really need you to give them a solution. All they really want is to be able to speak to you about their problems and sometimes that’s all the help they need.

Speech is powerful just as Silence is sometimes – telling you when and where to use which one is some psychological talk I don’t think I have license for – lol. But a moderate level of emotional intelligence would be great in discerning when and where which of the ‘S’ tools (Speech / Silence) would work (btw I just came up with that ‘S Tools’ – So fancy hehe! I’m gonna add it to the Post title :)).

But yeah I hope this post makes some sense… I know my writing is still all over the place – I’m hoping to grow into a better story teller with time and of course a better blogger (hence my hesitance to calling this space a blog – hehe). But yeah – take what you must from this post and ask questions if you need clarification!

Write soon! xx

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