Few feelings are worse than the feeling of being stuck in something you hate. I say this all the time.
Imagine waking up every day with an overwhelming feeling of fear and/or sadness because you know you are about to face another day stuck in an ocean when you would rather be out on dry land.
It’s a terrible feeling.
Okay so let me just say here that this piece is probably not going to make much sense when it’s done. I’m not sure, we’ll see. (btw I’m writing this after I’ve written like 4 paragraphs coz I’m realizing that I’m just rambling so I thought I’d give you guys a heads up). But read on its not that bad – maybe you’ll help me make some sense out of it.
I recall my excitement as I concluded my final year at the university.
I recall all the beautiful ideas I had about how life would be after I was done – when I faced the real world.
I recall fantasizing with my friends about the real world.
I recall my decision to stay back in the UK and look for a job.
I recall the countless job applications.
I recall SHL test center.
I recall mock interview pages.
I recall phone and video interviews.
I recall the prayers.
I recall fear.
I recall hope.
I recall when I was at the verge of getting my dream job.
I recall the glimpses of my ‘would be’ life – Heading to work in the fashion industry, after work drinks with colleagues, going back to my condo after work to meet my Lhasa, and then sitting on my comfy beautiful red couch with a cup of tea and watching one of my favorite TV shows before I finally went to bed.
I recall all the beautiful thoughts I had – “Oh the real world will be awesome, I can’t wait”.
*Insert anticlimactic movie sound here*
Lately I’ve been fascinated about marriage (maybe I’m getting to that age – lol). But it has been really interesting gathering different people’s perspective on the issue of marriage.
Funny enough, marriage is made to look like a chore by a lot of people and you start to wonder why people still push towards it and even those people that complain vehemently about the woes of marriage are the major advocates for marriage.
What is so special about this institution of marriage that everyone (and their grandma) wants to fly into it?
When the song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands’ is sung and people respond with claps, do they mean it or do they just do it because it is the appropriate response? I’m sure no one ever really put that much thought into it to be honest. I mean if that song was sung here right now I’d probably clap … but am I happy? *pensive* I’m not sure.
I was speaking to my friend the other day.
One of the strongest people I know, in my opinion… and he was broken. I couldn’t believe it. How could someone so strong be broken, isn’t that meant for weaklings like
Fast forward to why he was broken.
Welcome to my little space! Don’t think I want to call it a blog just yet … coz I’m not sure if I’m actually going to be doing ‘bloggish’ things (not sure what those tings are) so I’m sticking to the word space. But anywayyyy… It’s been a long time coming – starting this space and I’m happy it’s finally started; hence the post title, ‘Finally..’.
I had always wanted to write. Not sure what I wanted to write about but I have loved the idea that you could just take a pen, or in this case, a keyboard and just pour your feelings out in words. Its amazing how many words pop out when you start to write – all the feelings and emotions you thought you couldn’t explain suddenly start to come together and form pages on paper.
I believe writing is a true gift. A way to express, explain and escape.
I wouldn’t say I have a particular gift for writing but I think everyone could write if they wanted to (correct me if I’m wrong).
Anyway its a beautiful escape that I’m extremely excited about.
Okay so the name of my blog, not sure if I have to explain it… maybe later – okay so basically this name popped in my head one day and it’s sort of just been there ever since :). I’ll probably write a post later about how/why the phrase ‘is happiness here yet?’ “popped in my head.
With this space I’m going to be sharing experiences, theories, stories and all the works – basically anything! I want to tell stories. I want to inspire people. I want people to connect with the issues of life. I want people to know that they are not alone.
I hope I can do some bits or all of these through this space. I pray for the grace of God to see me through.
Please feel free to comment and make suggestions – I’m looking forward to this journey.
Write soon! xx