This “Love” Thing

This “Love” Thing

I have been having this back and forth argument with my friend about love.

And I thought I’d write about it.

I think Love is a Decision. He doesn’t.

What do you think?

Here’s how I see it:

I believe you decide to give a person your love.

There’s your family who I believe you are “forced” designed to love.

Yes, because I mean, they are family.

But then there’s a special guy or girl.

The one you love in a special kind of way.

The one you have the gooey feelings for.

The one that makes you smile with your heart.

I think you decide to love this person.

The way I see it, we meet several people through the course of lives

We get crushes, we have flings, we think he’s cute, we think she’s cute.

But then there’s the one (or ones) we decide to say the 3 powerful words to – ‘I love you’.

Why do we decide?

My friend says love comes and kicks you in the bottom and you cannot help but love  when that person comes along

I get that.

But I still think love is a decision.

You know how you are asked why you love a person?

Some people have answers.

They say it’s because he’s kind, she’s generous, he makes them feel like a queen, she’s the best friend I never had, bla bla..

See what I think:

I am sure he is not the only kind person you’ve met, and she’s not the only generous person you know.

So why don’t you just love all those other kind and generous people?

Why this one?

That’s where my ‘decision’ argument comes in.

Yup. I think we make that choice. The choice to love them.

Some others don’t have answers.

They are like “You know what? I don’t know why I love them, I just do.”

Some even start to doubt their love when they realize they do not have an answer to this question.

Some think it means the love is deeper, more special when there’s no reason.

I think that’s a bit off point.

But that was relatable so pfff.

My friend says if we choose to love a person then why do we get hurt?

Excuse me, but I think this is even a dumb argument.

  1. Choosing to give your love to someone does not mean that they will choose to give you theirs.
  2. Choosing to give your love to someone does not mean you cannot go back on it.
  3. Choosing to give your love to a person and having them give theirs back to you does not give you immunity against hurt.

We are still human.

We change our minds.

We hurt people without thinking and sometimes with thinking.

We are human.

Things happen.

My closing argument:

There are so many good looking, kind, loving, generous, amazing people we meet through the course of our lives.

But this one comes along and we CHOOSE to love them.

We make that decision.

Write soon xx

 

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Wanting More…

Wanting More…

I want more!

Oh! Lord knows I want more!

But I often ask myself: “Do I do enough to get the things I want?”

What do I mean?

I mean its great to desire more, have expectations and just yearn for greater but is that where it stops? Desire?

I think there’s a certain level of hard work that needs to go into wanting and getting more.

See, I don’t have the answers.

I don’t think any of my posts have the answers to anything I ask to be honest. LoL

I digress,

So you are wanting more?

What do you want?

What needs to be done to get what you want?

What are you willing to do to get it?

What have you already done to get it?

What are you going to do to get it?

I don’t think any great person ever got great by mere desire.

Okay, maybe some. I don’t know them – You might. *shrugs*

But you know all those “Great People” we read about?

Notice how they all have this back story of how they went through this and went through that?

How they were rejected 99 times, how they were thought useless at school, how their inventions kept crashing before they could get the final one to work?

Notice?

Yeah.

That’s what they did to get the “more” they wanted.

What are you going to do differently today to get your “more”?

I’m asking myself the same question.

Write soon xx

 

It’s like taking a pill

It’s like taking a pill

I HATE, absolutely DETEST taking pills.

From the first time I remember popping a pill in my mouth

It has always been a huge problem

It hasn’t changed since

But as with most things around trying to feel better , it’s something you have to do

The other day I likened my job to taking a pill

“Close my eyes pop it in and hope I don’t have to taste it as it goes down my throat”

That’s literally how I carry out every task at work

And as is the case with taking a pill , most times I’m successful .

The drug gets in my belly without a trace in my mouth

Without accidentally hitting the roof of my mouth

Or touching the back of my throat

It just goes down with the liquid as intended

But there are those other times when I pop the pill in and the devil rears it ugly head

Causing the pill to either become too big to flow seamlessly down my throat. Causing the pill to linger on my tongue after the liquid is long gone leaving a repulsive sediment I can almost always never get out of my head

Or causing the pill to stray to the side, fall in between my teeth and in the midst of my confusion, I bite down – ohhh the horror!!!

So yeah

That’s how it is with work

My lucky streak runs out for a bit and I get to experience how incredibly horribly tasting my job can actually be.

The end.

Write soon xx

I need a break…

I need a break…

…sound familiar?

How often do we hear those 4 simple words?

It’s as simple as that “I.Need.A.Break”

Sooo many times right?

I cannot even begin to count how many times I have said it myself.

A break. “Always a good idea”, I say.

But why do we need these breaks?

The way I see it , asking for a break is like asking for an escape from your current life

It could be for whatever reason

To get some air when you’ve been drowning;

To get some love when you’ve been broken;

To get some peace when there’s been chaos;

To take a breather when you’ve been panting;

To get some warmth when you’ve been freezing

To get some healing when you’ve been hurting;

To get some cold air when you’ve been burning; or

To get a life when you’ve lost yours.

So the way I see it , you never need a break from something that’s good.

LoL. That sentence maybe completely wrong you know 

I just remembered an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie was in a seemingly perfect relationship with Aiden and was having palpitations because she couldn’t fathom how good things were. She actually asked for a break from their perfect relationship.

I guess I could argue here that the “perfect” relationship was causing her distress that she needed a break from.

But then again Carrie was sort of dysfunctional.

Cont’d:

Or have you ever needed a break from the good life to get some much needed pain and suffering?

I haven’t.

But I won’t judge you if you have *wink*

Back to my point:

A break suggests you’re trying to escape something

Trying to get away from something that brings you less joy than you bargained for

A break suggests there’s something better…

Crap! I can feel the bias in this write up 

I’m doubting my own write up *palm face*

But I’m still gonna go on, see if I can convince you. 

This write up was inspired by a conversation with a dear friend btw.

Anyway let me go on with my argument

*clears throat*

Cont’d:

I’m not saying that a perfect life exists where you never want to leave even for a holiday

My doubts about this write up resumed right after that one sentence.

Oh gosh! The devil is a liar 

I just went to type the end of this post before I continue let me see if I can work my way to that end 

Having the end makes me convince myself that it’s a good and unbiased post 🙂 

Okay, here we go again

Cont’d:

What I am saying is

It is important that we pay attention to the yearnings for these said ‘breaks’ and try to articulate a few things:

How often do I need these breaks?

What are my major reasons for needing this breaks?

Do I see an opportunity to escape and jump at it like my life depended on it?

How do I feel when I take these breaks?

How quickly after a break do I feel I need to go on another one?

Are there consistent triggers for requiring these breaks?

Or are they borne out of a bunch of different reasons?

Let me just say what I want to say…

If you are constantly needing to run away from your life, then that may not be the life you ought to be living

How about you seek some change so that your life is a place you want to stay in not somewhere you feel the need to run away from

Sometimes it is difficult to attain this change

So do this:

Fill your life up with lots of of other interesting factors that cancel out or drown the part of your life that makes you want to run

Find what makes you happy

Find a life that makes you want to stay

Try to make sure the life you choose isn’t one you want to run away from every now and then.

Oh gosh… I hope I convinced you with this post.

Even a little bit *sigh*

Even if I failed, I hope you enjoyed reading it at least 🙂

Write soon xx

Psst! Wanna Know a Secret?

Psst! Wanna Know a Secret?

“We all have secrets”. We’ve heard this a million and one times!

I’ve always felt like I wanted to know things…

You know those “What if” questions that come up every now and then and end with “Would you want to know?” or “would you want to be told?”

I guess I had a few “No’s” to these sort of questions but deep down I always wanted to know things.

I felt like it was better if things were just out in the open rather than having to wonder; Is this happening or is this not happening.

“It’s better to just know” I always said.

I’m getting to my point 🙂

Anyway, we would agree that 9 out of 10 times if someone whispered in our ears; “Wanna know a secret?” our answer would be “Yes!”

That 1 time we say no is usually when we have an idea of what the secret might be and are scared to know the truth.

The question that leads to the 1 time we say no is hardly ever phrased as “Wanna know a secret?”

It’s usually more like “I have something to tell you.” DA DA DA DOOM *Insert other tense music here*

I’m still getting to my point, be patient.

There are these other times when we’re not even searching for anything and a secret falls right on your laps.

You either respond as the person who wants to know things or you walk away.

“Walk away????” Who are we kidding? We would dig right in.

Oh? We don’t? Alright then? Lets stick to that story.

But when we do dig, for those of us who will, what do we do when we find what we find?

What do we do with the realization of this secret?

What do you do when a realization shatters the essence someone has built with you?

What do we do then?

Secrets.. better left unsaid or not?

Do secrets do more harm when they are out in the open or when they are kept hidden?

How was the term secret even coined?

Who said things had to be hidden?

Write soon xx

Pain

Pain

“That’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt” – stolen from The Fault in our Stars.

I wasn’t even thinking about the movie when this phrase popped in my mind a few hours ago.
But what is realer than this phrase?
We can hide our pain from others, pretend it’s not there just so people leave us alone
But we feel it.
It’s there.
We know it is.
Pain is real and it’s not just the kind gotten from a bite , or a bruise , or a beating , or an accident.
Pain comes in all sorts of forms.
I think the worst kind is the emotional pain.
The pain that cannot be described
The pain you cannot rate on a scale
The pain you cannot describe to your physician
The pain that cannot be analyzed
The pain that others think is false
The pain that others can never comprehend
The pain that only you can understand
Yes, I think that’s the worst kind.
These pains exist
They may not be happening to us
But it is being felt by so many around us:
That person that can never seem to get his act together
That other person that is “always forming depressed”
That other person that has gone mute because they’d rather be silent than have to ever speak about the pains they experience
That other person who you “never know what’s going on with”
And that ‘other other’ person too.
 It’s out there
This pain is immense
I myself do not completely understand it
 But I have been “privileged” (I used that word very lightly as I am unsure as to whether or not it is in fact a privilege) to imagine, simply imagine the pain of another
 Show love.
There’s already too much pain in the world
Please show love; that person needs it
They need it like they need their very lives
Please show love.
You already do?
Show some more.
You think they’re taking the piss?
Let them.
Show some more love .
They don’t seem to want it?
Show some more love
Please show love. There’s already too much pain in the world.
Write soon xx
I’m thinking…

I’m thinking…

I’m thinking I should know by now

I’m thinking this shouldn’t be by now

I’m wondering why

I’m wondering when

I’m wondering how

I’m wondering who

I’m wondering what

I’m wondering

My mind is on a constant roller coaster

I’m in a constant state of confusion

I’m overwhelmed

I’m underwhelmed

I’m tired – I shouldn’t be

I’m energetic – I don’t know what to do with it

I’m stressed – I haven’t been doing anything

I’m scared – not sure why

I’m angry – mostly at myself

I’m cranky – probably be

I’m hungry – I just ate

I’m drowning – I can swim

I’m cold – I have a jacket on

I’m hot – Its freezing here

I’m tired – I don’t want to be

I’m tired – It’s hard not to be.

Write soon xx